There are a few non-wrestling notes in the end, though.
Yeah, we were there. What should I say? It was epic, a dream come true, once in
a lifetime opportunity. I’m not going to do a blow-by-blow, but let’s take a look
at the matches briefly, shall we? (I wonder why I keep making rhetoric
questions like that. It’s not like you could tell me “no, we shall not”, or
that I would listen if you somehow did. Weird, isn’t it?
… Sorry.)
So yeah, the matches. The first one was a dark match (that means it was shown before the actual WrestleMania show began, and it was not televised), triple threat tag team match for Tag Team Championship. The current champions Epico and Primo accompanied by Rosa Mendez (damn, Tirkka, you really should see her live!) versus Jimmy and Jey Uso (they are Samoans, and their surname means “brothers”. They are twins.) versus my personal favorite Justin Gabriel and Tyson Kidd. Yeah, the last one seems pretty random, but think of the amount of high-flying, high-risk, high-entertainment combos it could provide if they let it live!
So yeah, it was quite short and action-packed and in the end Epico and Primo regained the championship. Hey, it was a dark match, what were you expecting? It’s not like tag team belts would change hands in a house show or something!
… Sorry.)
So yeah, the matches. The first one was a dark match (that means it was shown before the actual WrestleMania show began, and it was not televised), triple threat tag team match for Tag Team Championship. The current champions Epico and Primo accompanied by Rosa Mendez (damn, Tirkka, you really should see her live!) versus Jimmy and Jey Uso (they are Samoans, and their surname means “brothers”. They are twins.) versus my personal favorite Justin Gabriel and Tyson Kidd. Yeah, the last one seems pretty random, but think of the amount of high-flying, high-risk, high-entertainment combos it could provide if they let it live!
So yeah, it was quite short and action-packed and in the end Epico and Primo regained the championship. Hey, it was a dark match, what were you expecting? It’s not like tag team belts would change hands in a house show or something!
Then came the
time for the actual opener of the show. As has been a habit for WWE, the Royal
Rumble winner gets to start WrestleMania: Daniel Bryan ( c ) versus Sheamus for
World Heavyweight Championship. We had earlier decided to give Sheamus a
“Lobsterhead” chant (he’s a ginger and his entrance theme sounds a bit like
[the actual lyrics on the right]
It’s a shame to have a lobsterhead / It’s a shame, for they lost their head
a careless man may be too well fed / A careless man may wind up dead
You’re way too thin like some other guys / You wear your sin like it’s some kind of prize
Too many limes, too many limes / Too many lies, too many lies
But we couldn’t. Why? Because:
*Gong declares the match started*
*Daniel Bryan getting a kiss from his girlfriend*
*Sheamus surprising dazed Bryan with a Brogue Kick out of nowhere*
*Sheamus pinning Bryan’s shoulders to the mat*
*Referee counts to three*
*Gong declares the match ended*
*Sheamus is the new World Heavyweight Champion*
The whole thing took less than ten seconds. At first, the people popped (cheered) for the winner, but it got quite soon changed into booing. Now, the funny thing is Sheamus is a smiling, wacky face (a good guy) and Bryan is a self-absorbed heel (bad guy) who verbally abuses his girlfriend. But his in-ring (wrestling) abilities are so good and his “Yes! Yes! Yes!” (ad nauseam) chant is so over-the-top and amusing, people tend to like him more than washed-out, colorless (no pun intended) (Google it) Sheamus.
So yeah, I liked it a lot. It had this definite “WTF” factor, and it gives endless possibilities for storytelling. Of course I would have liked to see Daniel Bryan have an actual wrestling match, but as later was proved, they could hardly have had enough time for that.
It’s a shame to have a lobsterhead / It’s a shame, for they lost their head
a careless man may be too well fed / A careless man may wind up dead
You’re way too thin like some other guys / You wear your sin like it’s some kind of prize
Too many limes, too many limes / Too many lies, too many lies
But we couldn’t. Why? Because:
*Gong declares the match started*
*Daniel Bryan getting a kiss from his girlfriend*
*Sheamus surprising dazed Bryan with a Brogue Kick out of nowhere*
*Sheamus pinning Bryan’s shoulders to the mat*
*Referee counts to three*
*Gong declares the match ended*
*Sheamus is the new World Heavyweight Champion*
The whole thing took less than ten seconds. At first, the people popped (cheered) for the winner, but it got quite soon changed into booing. Now, the funny thing is Sheamus is a smiling, wacky face (a good guy) and Bryan is a self-absorbed heel (bad guy) who verbally abuses his girlfriend. But his in-ring (wrestling) abilities are so good and his “Yes! Yes! Yes!” (ad nauseam) chant is so over-the-top and amusing, people tend to like him more than washed-out, colorless (no pun intended) (Google it) Sheamus.
So yeah, I liked it a lot. It had this definite “WTF” factor, and it gives endless possibilities for storytelling. Of course I would have liked to see Daniel Bryan have an actual wrestling match, but as later was proved, they could hardly have had enough time for that.
On to the next
match. (There was an angle for a later match in between, but it’s fairly
unimportant.) Kane versus Randy Orton, nothing but personal hatred at stake.
Now, neither one of these men are known for their wrestling abilities. Due to this, I was quite shocked to find out the match was actually great! The ending was a huge surprise. I don't think anyone in my immediate vicinity was expecting Kane to win, much less that he'd win cleanly.
Now, neither one of these men are known for their wrestling abilities. Due to this, I was quite shocked to find out the match was actually great! The ending was a huge surprise. I don't think anyone in my immediate vicinity was expecting Kane to win, much less that he'd win cleanly.
And more shockers! Seven-foot giant, old man who's never won in WrestleMania, a veteran who nowadays prefers to aid younger, rising stars to the top, Big Show, beat Cody Rhodes for Intercontinental Championship! Completely unexpected, but great and interesting turn of events.
Then was the most uninteresting match of the night. Kelly Kelly (Sidetrack! She looks so plastic, Barbie is jealous. Her real name is Barbara Blanks. Barbara. Blanks.) and Maria Menounos (she's an American pseudo-celebrity from Dancing With Stars. Her main job seems to be to look good.) versus "Glamazon" Beth Phoenix and Eve Torres. The face team won, whoop-de-doo.
Then one of the three most expected matches of the night. The Undertaker, whose winning streak in WrestleMania is already 19 matches long, and Hunter Hearst Helmsley (Triple H) square off inside a steel cage called Hell in a Cell. The referee is HHH:s best friend Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels, who was forced to retire a few years back after he lost to Undertaker.
This match was awesome. Plain awesomeness. Both wrestlers' backs were black and blue because of chair shots. The referee, who was supposed to be impartial, kicked Undertaker to chin so that HHH could try to pin him, to no avail. And in the end, same referee had to count to three after a murderous beating ending with a Tombstone Piledriver. The streak stayed alive.
The best part, however, was the aftermatch. HBK and Undertaker helped HHH up, and all three hobbled up the entrance ramp. There they stopped, turned around, faced the audience... and hugged. I'm not ashamed to admit I cried. The tagline for the match was "End of an Era", and that it truly was.
After this epic bout, the show still went on. The next match was a 5-on-5 tag team match, and the captain of the winning team would become the General Manager of both RAW and SmackDown.
The audience was emotionally dead after the last match, myself included. I couldn't have given any chants anyway, my voice was (still is) gone. The match ended with Eve kicking her boyfriend (or "boyfriend", depending of who you ask) Zack Ryder in the nuts and the Miz pinning him. The "Hoski" chants Eve got from that were absolutely amazing! (You see, Zack is a fan favorite, loved by many. He calls people he likes "Broskis".)
Next match was the best actual wrestling match of the whole show. CM Punk versus Chris Jericho, WWE Championship (and the permission to call himself Best in the World) at the stake.
This match was everything it was expected to be. Pure brilliance from start to finish, everything in moderation. Had it been in my power to do so, I would've made Jericho the winner, but I have absolutely nothing against the winner. CM Punk is quite possibly the best entertainer in the business, and his championship reign so far has been highly amusing. Plus, there are endless possibilities of how this could be continued.
And the main event. The epic, once in a lifetime opportunity that actually sold this ticket to me. The icon of Attitude Era, The Rock, against the current Face of the WWE, John Cena!
I've overused the word "epic" already. However, it's the only word that properly describes this. John Felix Anthony Cena lost in main event of WrestleMania cleanly! Last time he lost cleanly was, when, in 2008? Nothing but... epic.
I had a burger and chips for breakfast. We found out that when Americans say "chips" they mean, like, chips! Not french fries, as we were expecting.
We met some lovely Alabaman ladies in the elevator back in the hotel. (I knew they were from Alabama, because I heard them talk before the 'Mania. To them I claimed I recognized the accent ^^ I think they bought it.)
We're back in Emily's again. If we would spend more time in this hotel, this would definitely become our regular place. I heartily recommend this to anyone going to Miami.
Kenitys also has a blog. He writes about same stuff as I do, except in Finnish, and is much better at it than I am. I'm ever so slightly jealous about it. The blog is here: http://kenitys.blogspot.com/
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