Nice, Kind and Friendly

This one has been brewing for a while. It all started one leisure afternoon when I was chatting with my girlfriend. For some reason or another, I told her she's not a nice person. She'll never let me forget it.
So anyway, I do think nice is a different thing from kind and friendly. Those of you who are already aware of Nice Guy Syndrome will probably find nothing new here. Those of you who aren't, please google it. It's quite enlightening.

Where was I? Oh, being nice. See, there's the thing. The Nice People (tm) are, in fact, not really nice. They are being nice. Acting nice, if you will. They are acting in a certain (nice) way in order to gain some kind of a payoff, usually some kind of influence over the people they are Acting Nice towards.

Don't worry, this will start making sense in a moment.

The next group is the Kind People. Now, how do you tell a Kind Person from a Nice Person? Usually, you don't. The way they behave is (at least publicly) really similar. The difference, however, lies in their motives. Where Nice People seek power over the people around them, Kind People do Kind Stuff because it's a Right Thing To Do.

I'm having way too much fun Capitalizing Things.

And the last group, the Friendly People. They are really similar with the two other groups, but whereas Nice People aim for Payoff, and Kind People try to do Right Thing, Friendly People treat other people in Friendly Way... for no reason they could explain. Maybe that's the way they were brought up, maybe they just are genuinely good people without any specific reason.

There are very few Friendly People, and it's very difficult to become a Friendly Person. The Kind People are a bit less uncommon. It's great to be a Kind Person (or so I hear). If you can be a Kind Person, please do. Nice People, however, are seemingly dime a dozen, if anyone ever wanted to buy them on a bulk discount.

How do you spot a Nice Person, then? Almost everyone has met one, at some point or another. Some giveaways are that when you need something from them, they will make sure you know they are making you a favor. Expect to hear phrases such as "You owe me one", or "You'll pay me back some day." And when they need you to do them a favor, they will remember the favor you did to them, and they will bring it up.

If you are lucky enough not to owe them a favor, you may hear them complain about an acquintance they did a favor, and who didn't do anything for them in return. This is a warning sign.

Mind you, I am not saying you should ditch a friend if they prove to be a Nice Person. Just keep an eye on them, and if they prove to be one, give careful consideration to whether you need a friend like that.